rushing for perfection

Well lets start of on why I did not write anything last night. I was overtired, mentally and physically exhausted and angry.

The day started of okay. I am at the point of getting over the fact that I have to wheel myself to the bus stop for lillian. It helps me out with getting fit and seeing my child off. As well it gives me a boost of energy in the morning to get the house cleaned. I am happy that I can put weight on my leg so at home I will park my chair in the corner and just hobble around to get things done.

So anyway back to my story for yesterday. I got home and started cleaning when my best buddie Jullian called and said she will come over. I was excited. Since I cant drive I am unable to see her unless she visits me. She brought over coffee and we talked and joked around. Then she said "You want to come over to my house?" I was like "really?" So I decided to just bring my crutches and not bother her with the wheel chair since it was just her house.

We got there I left the crutches in the car and challenge myself to walk into her house. And I did it! We hung out till about noon and she took me and Emma home after she bought us some yummy tacobell.

I took a nap with Emma and woke up refreshed and energized. When Matt got home we were ready to go to the store for our grocery shopping. So with new found confidence I wanted to challenge myself again. I told him I didnt want to bring either my crutches or chair that I wanted to walk from the car to the entrance to the area where they have the scooters. Well we got there and guess what! They didnt have any available. Matt did his best to find one but no go. So he said he could take me home and do the shopping himself. In my mind I am like NOOOO! I dont want to go back home I wanted out of the house. So I told him let me push the basket and I will use that to walk. So for a whole hour I walked at Walmart. :D I wasnt in agonizing pain. Just a bit discomfort.

But I was really proud of myself and happy!

Well anyway lets get to the angry part. As you see why I would be exhausted. It was 11pm and I was ready for bed and wanted Matt to go with me. Most of the time I just go to sleep and he will be in the living room playing his game and fall asleep and then be cranky the next day. So I thought it would good for him to come to bed with me so A. I can cuddle up with him cause I am sick and I hurt. B. He can get a deceit night sleep and C. I just miss having him go to bed at the same time with me. Well he told me he would be there in a few minutes and it turned to an hour and I got so mad I yelled at him. We both argued and I usually just smoke one smoky before I go to sleep but this I smoked 4 smokes cause I was so angry and stressed out. I finally calmed myself down enough to fall asleep.

The next morning after he gets home in the morning from P.T , me and Emma were napping on the sofa. He bent down and gave me a kiss and told me he was sorry about what had happened.

So all is well now.

Today nothing really big happen. Just a normal day. I had the girls play outside for a half hour and it worked out in my benefit cause Emma was ready for sleep at 7 and was out in 3 mins. Lillian was out in 10. So I did good!

well thats it kidos!